I Hate Mozart

"That seems a reasonable statement", you say, "please Ina, elaborate, through the medium of a 5-point list.". Well, OK:

1. The Mozart Effect
The 'Mozart Effect', is an idiotic theory that listening to Mozart makes you 'smarter' (their choice of word). This is closely related to a similar misapprehension that listening to Mozart makes you look smarter. Wrong.

Listening to Mozart makes you a pretentious idiot. Opera Seria is probably the worst school of classical music there is. If I hear another of his fey little minuets I'll kick someone.

Back to the list..

2. Credit hog
Mozart is often given inordinate amounts of praise for the fact that he was composing at the precocious age of five. Screw Mozart. How about Camille Saint-Saëns? He had perfect pitch at the age of 2, was composing at age 4 and gave a full recital at age 5.

Also, whilst I'm on the subject. Mozart may have composed pieces at age 5...but they're crap. Absolute crap.

3. Copyright theft



4. He's Austrian
Some other famous Austrians:

Josef Fritzl, the man who ruined the phrase "lock up your daughters".

Dietrich Mateschitz, creator of Red Bull. Their continual lies on television adverts have left many a small child with broken legs. Naturally I wasn't duped. Honest.

Adolf Hitler, who couldn't even grow a proper moustache. Also; started World War II.

Archduke Franz Ferdinand. Started World War I. Good moustache though.

5. ..damn
He's made me look like an idiot by promising a 5 point list, when I can only remember 4 of my original points.